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No Apologies

I make no apologies for who and what I am. I've grown a spine, and as a result, a voice. If anything I say or post offends you, my apologies. I will be more than happy to bring you down a notch, gently, to remind you that WE ARE ALL ON THE SAME LEVEL AS MEMBERS OF THE SAME HUMAN FAMILY. Nobody is greater or less than. We are all entitled to our views. As a Buddhist, I love you ALL as family, and we will have disagreements. This is to be expected. But Buddhism doesn't make me a doormat. I am done rolling over for others and compromising who I am. If you're really a friend to me, you'll have my back on this.
Wolfmother has spoken, end of rant. Have a great day!


Yay Facebook lol!

Last night I've discovered a "tool" on Facebook that's just what I need for this Road Trip to Maine venture. I've created a group dedicated to this venture and have added all of my friends and family from Maine on there. I'm tired of hearing the accusations from the people around here that I'm "obsessing" about this visit; they can get back to me when they've gone almost three years without seeing their friends or family. I have the group's privacy setting super secure, thus sparing us backlash or spam. Maybe I can use it for a resource for job leads for a possible move back home?

The Long Road Home...

love maineA little over three months until my road trip to Maine.
Time is crawling. It's going to be so hard to leave again, though...
It's been going on two and a half years since I've seen my family and friends in Maine. Hooray for my boss okaying the time off I need already!!
So fucking excited.

On Artists...

"Artists hear what no one else hears. They see what no one else sees. They say what no one else says. They must. And to do this, they traffic in the slippery yield of
their own souls. They bring to earth the wrack and lode of depths that only they can reach and still come back alive.

Inspiration is a flash. A momentary flicker that--if the would-be recipient is mired in mindless chatter--might easily die unseen. It cannot me repeated, duplicated, slowed down, cached for viewing at some more convenient time. The mind awaiting inspiration must be primed, ever awake, aware. For this it is best off alone.

She is gifted, they say. She has the gift. A gift with hard labor attached. After inspiration must come the plunge down inner passages, the search which suffocates but also liberates: the spelunking where no one could help even if you wanted them to. Instead, plucking souvenirs from those depths, you must keep asking yourself, in a tongue only you can speak, What next? But how? while shapes and colors swirl out of control. A gift, but a subpoena.

Which requires initiative. Commitment...Conviction that something so personal is worth doing no matter what. No matter if they try to talk you out of it. No matter if they call you self-indulgent, talentless. They will. No matter--all the better--that it is best done alone, some would say only done alone. No matter if they do not understand. Deluded, they think you are doing this for them. Sillies. Edvard Munch refused for many years to sell or even show his paintings anywhere. He saw no cause to share.

Art breeds loners. Loners breed art."

--Anneli Rufus, "Party of One: The Loner's Manifesto" pg. 116


On The Nature of Dreams and Reality

I had a bit of an epiphany; this may sound weird indeed.

On the nature of dreams, who is to say they're not real? Okay, so we have no tangible "evidence" that we carry over from the dream experience back with us into waking consciousness except for the memory of the dream experience-- but conversely, we have no "evidence" of the experience of waking consciousness that we take with us into the dream experience.

For example, you can't intentionally take your cell phone with you from waking consciousness into a dream and expect it to be there in the dream experience (but this doesn't mean that your cell phone doesn't exist in the waking world, also, this doesn't mean that waking consciousness as we know it does not exist), any more than you can take the Cadillac you had with you from the dream experience and expect it to be there during your waking experience.

Consciousness is a real thing they say, it just takes on different forms/modes during sleep. The implication being that dreams are just another face of reality (so they say). If that's the case, then in the past week I've made a trip back to visit Maine, hung out with Gemma, Nero, Jax, and Tig (from Sons of Anarchy) and got to meet and receive advice from the Dalai Lama. These dream-experiences feel very tangible to me upon awakening.

I've heard many people say that maybe reality is a waking dream and that maybe it's in our dreams when we're truly awake.

But anyway, that thought occurred to me, and yes, maybe I've been reading a bit too much lately. :)

Still Alive

Well, I've been here over a year now. Do I miss Maine? Sure I do. And yet I have no regrets about what I've done in regards to my relocation and whatnot. Chip has more than proven to be an excellent companion and his family has been more than welcoming and accepting of me. It still blows my mind, all of this, and I'm doing my best to honor it. In October, Chip and I have moved from Virginia Beach to the mountains/Augusta County. It's wonderful here. Wide open spaces, woods, and we've both landed work at last. I'm slinging sandwiches full time at a built-in Subway in a convenience store and the pay is pretty decent. Some days there feel like being on the movie "Clerks". Seriously. But it's not a bad job. He's working in a convenience store as well. Keep in mind we're both Buddhists living in the Bible Belt here, but oh well. Overall, things are going rather well and I couldn't be happier.

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Join us in standing up for reproductive health and education. Planned Parenthood, the organization that delivers reproductive health care, sex education and information to millions of people worldwide, has come under fire in the U.S. lately, with many politicians on both state and federal level seeking to end funding (and in a few cases succeeding).

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Something I desperately need to learn how to do...

Times Are A-Changing For the Better

Where once was fear there now is courage; where once was rejection there now is acceptance; where once was shame there now is pride; where once was deprivation there now is indulgence; where once was abhorrence there now is attachment; where once was sorrow there now is elation. So many have witnessed these changes with aversion...and with the realization that, they too, wish to be resuscitated as well.


Writer's Block: Don’t look back in anger

Do you have any regrets from this year?

My only regret is dealing with needless suffering and misery for as long as I did, and for not having done what I've done sooner. All things in their time, I guess =) Live and learn.
I thank the gods I'm past all that.
This is one of the many Pearl Jam songs that kept me sane in the "Dark Times".